Brain cells dying....Taking a deep breath....

I dun know how i did it, but then i had 4 days of office hours, tmr hopefully the last day and non-stop studying/absorbing of new product information... The way they teach, as if it was a refresher course..... I think, if they were talking about heart, or lung.. it will be easier fot me to understand.......

You know what, the place was so cold, as cold as munich.... i dun know what is the temperature.... Imagine, even if i bring northface winter wear, and i was still freezing.... While doing the application today, my hands felt like they are turning to ice... and i am not kidding... Every break, i run downstairs, just like a smoker.... But i just need the heat, even for the 5 minutes.....

I was so stoned.... Yesterday, while trying to revise for the application/test after the class.... I sat in the office, flip my notes.... Then, i started to study, actually i was just reading it.. I didnt know what is going on...... My head feel so heavy,the parietal felt as it they are spliting.... I was like a zombie walking around, i need my beauty sleep. I was so tired, that when i reach home, i bath, i fall asleep about 7pm or 8pm just to get some sleep.......

I had to put the car at home, cause i didn't wanna go thru peak hours jam x 2 and expensive parking..... Is enough during lunch time, to find space, q for food....... squeezing with people in the train, stopping at almost every bus stop, make me so giddy, move stop move stop.... I so feel like puking....

When i was doing calculation today, i was so lost...... Til the point, i can't be bother cause my brain just can't function...... Even if the test was half an hour... They are at their max capacity......

I just need something, like Tango..... I took a deep breath, imagine myself dancing...... When i was inside the crowded train, listening to the tango music, i feel like moving around, which was impossible... I closed my eyes and imagine how will a man will lead me to dance.... The best i could do is to do a good posture......... I have the urge that thing I love - I love tango, music,wines and men who adore me............. If i had the 4 combine together, it will be heaven man....... better than orgasm for me..............

I found this pic on the fb or someone's website.... I love the pic..... the embrace of 2 person, the emotion feel, the passion of the tango............ Argh..... When can i dance like that ????

I went to recharge my brain and myself.... I decided to go for a run...nope, i did not sleep... I went to ECP, yea, a run finally, since like 6-7 weeks ago....... When i reach there, the smell of the fresh air, the waves and the sound of planes............. Is all my favourite, even taking a few deep breath there, it feel so good for that few seconds...I am in heaven.......... I took a walk, then run to the sailing club, sat by the jetty, thinking of silly things and sat my goals for the year 2011....

I want to achieve a stable career and good wealth of -> 40 000p/a , health - lose 8 kg in 10 months......

I want to go Argentina, BA for 1-2 months, to travel around and learn tango.

I wanna go spain.

I wanna go thailand ( phuket or koh samui for r & r )

The above goals should not be too difficult to achieve right, so i will review periodically.....

It just felt good, at ecp...... I just love to be there... i can be there alone for hours at any time of the day or night. Imagine, if he person i love is there together with me drinking wine....... Haiz, dun think will happen...........

Imagine : leaning on the person shoulder, closing my eyes, taking the fresh air.............. non-verbal communication between 2 person, exchange of eye contact, the passionate kiss.........

This is all i ask for, even if it just holding the hands... it feel very good.............

i want to go for my practical on SUN.

But now, i need to go la-la land soon, dream of my charming knight

;-)