June 2015 - I fuck it up again !

I didnt like month of May, but i didnt knoe the month of June is the most hated month of the year, It is always June, especially Mid-June when i suffered heart breaking things. From BGR breakup, accusation from previous work, to the most recent break up.  I hope it really passed thru real fast.

ZP and I are done. We are not together anymore, and I didnt see him for a week. It breaks my heart, I cried every night and I force myself to go gym and run to make myself real tired. I miss him. I miss him by myside.

4 years. Almost exactly 4 years then and now.

I tried my very best to be very strong. I have to act very cool, despite the motion sickness and the weather and the body who went on hunger strike for one week . It was a headaxhe moments. I try not to think what you are thinking just concentrate  or settling our things. I really hope you are happier  now.

Is finally weekend and i am Sitting at home now. So sad. So sad tgat I no longer have you. Perhaps the greatest lesson and reflection to me. I tried to stopped my finger from texting you it was so hard. I cried every night I forced myself to go gym and then to run again after every class. So I will be son tired to sleep and don't think so much. But I was wrong. It didn't make me tired. I still wake up like normal and wait for weekend to arrive.

I have no apetite. I either eat very little or I skipped it at all. All those food taste so different without u around.  I could only forced myself to swallow a few bite do I won't faint or get gastric.

The aching feeling from the heart. Is so heart breaking.The fact that I can no longer see you like how we always,make me crazy.  Knowing nobody will share the bed and snore beside me. Nobody will care as much as you do. 

We can't turn back time. If we could do like what ha ha do. I want to start every thing proper. Really treasure and love you and do whatever to conquer again.

 I should have flipped my old message real early instead of now.