CCF AFR 2012 KL

30th April 2012

This is a special day, a first time for me, first time being a medical volunteer to Children Cancer Foundation, and to their Annual Family Retreat to Kuala Lumpur. It has been such a long time since I am doing community service or volunteer. ( tried to volunteer back in the ambulance but was rejected )

In the beginning, I had my doubt whether I had the ability in my patience and my skills to handle in the situation. ZP was afraid that my short temper will blow up during the trip. Fortunately, I was able to go to the briefing prior to the trip, seeing the people there being so genuine ( no make up and no fancy clothing), down to earth and conversation was short and right to the point.

It was a tigh schedule as I was stuck in clinic the whole day out of the whole week just prior to the trip with little time to prepare for the trip. I was glad I was able to pull off with some little help from Christopher and ZP.

I reached quite on time at 0730hrs, and then meet the beneficiary and their family and then it just everything started so fast from there. Boarding the bus and proceed to KL via Melecca Via Tuas.
Seriously, you wont even know who is the beneficiary, most of them are bubbly and happy children.

Even before reaching the SIN custom, I already had a request to check on one of the beneficiary. Her temperature was 37.4. Argh, very close, only advised the parent to let her take paracetamol first then will check her again. Halfway thru, manage to grab hold of clara and inform her and the doctor.

We reached Melecca, King hotel for lunch, then a 2nd request to check on the vomiting child, and temp was 38.7, and thank God, there was doctor onboard the trip with us. I have to say the lunch sucks. really sucks.

With us falling behind the actual schedule for like an hour or two, we manged to move off again at 1430. The traffic jam and the heavy rain didnt help, the journey was more rough, and i was getting more restless just like the others, and KL just seem like Thailand, so near  yet so far.

finally, manged to reach the hotel at 1730hrs, and a short window period to settle down before the dinner at 1800hrs. I had to say, the expectation of such a hotel/resort was way below. People are always Q-ing, and the tray was always empty, and the quality of food was ok. Anyway, is paid for, so no complain. Thank God, the debrief was short and sweet and i finally manage to bath and rest.

Day 2 started with some simple morning execise at 0730hrs, hmm... Ya, I manage to wake up.... And then was the ever crowded breakfast crowd with th always no food in the restaurant. As always, i settle for the not so many people crowd.

We then proceed to play some station games with the family, some games are so interesting, and i never played it before and it has been a long long time since i play games. It was an very interesting learning experience.

Then it was lunch, and then to RnR for the family, for the medical team is such a non-stop thing, standby at Sunway lagoon, by the grace of the Doctor, i was able to express shop for 40 min. And I could get this before i head off the hotel for another session of duty and i couldn't even sleep. Lucky was manage to sleep after 5pm for a quick nap.

Then it was dinner with a debrief and a few cases during the debrief. Hmmm... I think is Dr Peh.

After the shower, I bathed and lie on the bed, with limited TV programme, I doze off with the boring show, and roomates came back and off for me. and i continue sleeping as it is gonna be a long day 3.

To be continued.....

7 years of Similar shit, different Person...

22nd December

I should just stop thinking that maybe one we really would be together, I dont think is gonna happen. As the time goes by, I observe more similarity between you and him. Of course, who will admit they flirt with other woman. My heart is going colder, and everything the thoughts of you messaging other woman . Every time when there is so much time, yet u cannot spare some little time to do something more important.

I mean seriously, spending 20min of time to ask people to reserve a place for you, when you dont have 2 min to navigate to 1 MRT stop away. Chosing a way that you think is fast but dont know they way, and didn't put the cepass properly to go thru ERP, and go round and round the bugis area. I did is my fault that i have been trying to guide you, even helping u to install the navigation is useless. Some thing just dont change.

My mood for christmas just totally disappear, cause is the 3rd time in the same month that i dont wanna celebrate christmas, and maybe it should stay away, just go for service but not celebrating as if exchanging gift or what. It seem that is a bit pointless and xmas seem to be like the official reason that people buy more things.

So what if you go around looking for the perfect gift to give to that someone, doing your research what is good and whats suit him more ? doesnt really matter now... and the thing he say, xmas is from the heart, whatever people give u, just take and he will like. so i can maybe give chocolate...

Personal opinion, if you die die wanna buy something for the sake for buying or giving. yet u know the person wont really like it, it totally meaningless. I mean is good to receive, but is better to get something that you life. Value of the item and what is really suitable for the person something just doesnt come together.

For me, i dont mind receiving the gift early so that i have a xmas mood, but he say want to wait till christmas and all. Into your face, DON'T NEED TO !  If you want to wait until xmas, why want me to wait also, aren't you giving your church people present now, stop giving me those craps, and now i dont wanna spend my xmas with u .

I have also been waiting one day that u can be a bit more intiative to do something, I am not a very impromtu person when certain things need to be plan unless is a place i am very familiar with.

Oh well, since the gift is useless, I have posted to instagram and facebook. Yup, i want you to see yet cannot get it and regret. I had that sucky feeling for the longest time, i been hinting you about us yet is a open ended answer, I am quite sick of it. I am not the 17 or 18 y/o gal that have time to wait. And you never know me before, once i walk away, is with no feeling... and is gettng very near there.





15th December

maybe is the period, blame in on the period, but there is something i cant stop thinking, cause it happen before and before.

In the previous relationship, since I was not not married, I didnt bother. Yup, so what, u gave the freedom they needed, so it end result was a shotgun with someone... Thats the result ! I haven recover  from the hurt... the fact that i wasted my 5 1/2 years especially in my mid 20s to spend with a guy that i knew was not serious with me. I still chose to believe that I would be the one.  Reality got to slap my face.

This time, not much far away, a not so committed person claimed he love me, but still messaging, flirting or whatever with other woman. Sick of it ! Dare to do but scare to admit ! I just feel like i am just like any other woman, just that maybe mine frequency was much more. So what does it meant ? Something ?

Everytime, I hold your phone, that panick reaction of yours tell me there is something you dont want me to know. As a woman, I even want to know more, and of course, things are the way that I could imagine. So flirting and all, doesnt seem to be bothering u, of course, u r the one having fun. All i feel was someone who doesnt care about what i feel.

My heart feel so cold, that i dont know how to love someone. I dont know how to plan my future, no matter in which stage....... Everything seem temporary and fake.

So what if I wanna to surprise with a great Christmas present, I dont even wanna spend with him at all, got the feeling for the second time this year, ... Maybe deep inside my heart, I already Knew i was not the one for you, but again I was  hoping that I would be the one.

Old yet New Journey

The last 1-2 weeks, i had already started to work in an industrial setting, not as a construction worker, but as a industrial paramedic in  kallanf while waiting to go back to emergency ambulance, after all, healthcare industry suit me a bit more.

But in this settings, I not only need to refresh my paramedic skills and knowledge, I also need to know the nursing skills such as dressing and dispensary of medications, and I also need to do admin work. In short, OIC of the industrial clinic.

Things was really messy and chaos the first day, when i am suppose just to start up the clinic but the cases kept on coming in. After the chaos here and there by everybody, things are more or less in place with a few more things to settle. More importantly, My pay are not settle yet !

Day in Day out, people here are testing my skills, medical skills, my patience with them and my ability to communicate with Thai, bangladeshi, and indian.... sometimes is just like ARGH ! Fortunately over here, i do have the freedom to control the timing and treatment.

Really thank God that BFF A is able to help me temporary this month, at least i got some time to source for some manpower and get things in place. Based on what i know about him, he is sure to help to settle some admin stuffs, especially when i am not around, and pretty quite sure paramedic trained people are able to endure the long shift like 0700-2300 HRS, yup, no joking. I am busy with consultation, treatment, paperwork since 0700-2030hrs.... It has been quite ok, minus the headache now.


I am almost like a superwoman with non-stop of work since i first step into the offfice until I leave. Well, i suppose is better for me, i dont have so much free time to bored myself and to just nua and eat n eat, i am just concentrating at work to try to focus and not think about unwanted stuffs.

I pray that everyday is a good day, that God always want me to learn something new.

Great outing !

After the disturbance day at Takashimaya, we went to Vivocity with the payday coming, and Sephora having 20% off..... So I went in to take a look, and try here and there..... and just putting them into the basket......

 I have no idea why the filipino salesman is so smart, gave me the strip that contains the mont blanc fragrance smell.... and there u go.... with Mr pink !

And we found this rocking durian dessert at a new dessert shop, Lucky Dessert at vivo.. And it rock ! 

Last last Sunday , received a phone call from Ah jie, then got sudden shock, she is going to change car instead of 2013, and is getting her car immediately on last monday. So happy for her, but then, we also want to buy her car.... we are still calculating, see how loh..... ! Anyway, congrats ah Jie ! May it bring more business for u !

Last Saturday, we finally went to Timbre@Substation after like almost a year of saying we want to go... I had to put a reminder on my phone, in case I forget again...He almost got called back for ops and we couldnt make it..... But, we finally reach there at about 2040hrs...Thank God !

So we ordered the 6-9pm promotions - One bottle of wine and chicken wing at $48.... and a  Hawaiian pizza !

 After waiting for 2 hours patiently... The live band finally started to play....... Intitally, i thought the lead singer was quite cute and handsome till i saw him so close outside the toilet.... Hmm.. still not that bad looking lah....

Very entertaining and quality band performance by Goodfellas ! They could sing English, Korean like Nobody , nobody like you and Oppa Ganum style, and even Cantonese Songs... A very diversified band members with diversified range of songs choice to cater to different crowd... A truly entertaining and fun night which lead to 2 more beers and a mojito........

How I wish i could be there at least once a month !

unappreciated!

Very piss...

So What if u want to be a nice person when people don't appreciate !

Yesterday, my mother came to my room and ask where was I going, she say she want to go clementi...

I thought of being nice to go and take the car to go marine parade polyclinic, then send them back, despite being under the hot sun on Sunday, my body was still heating up......I rushed to get my KOI, to have the only "meal" of the day, realise maybe not enough money, went to the ATM to draw money, decided to use fast cash to draw $50 to last me a week......

Took the card, and dont know what happen, cross the small carpark, went to KOI, realise i didnt have the $50 in my wallet search my bag , not either there. Went back to trace where i walk, and realise is not there also... My $50 just disappear within a min....... cause i just want to rush to send my mother and niece to clementi..

Guess what ? I called my mother, ask where she is ? She say," why u care, where am I ?" like seriously, what the fuck, i rush to send u after seeing the doctor, cause u all sleeping, and don't want u to carry my niece around..... what did i get ? an unappreciated harsh reply.... rushed and even dropped my $50 of one week allowance.

Keep on saying that i should move out ?u think i dont want ?  If not for the bastard JUSTIN MOK KAR HOONG ! I would be staying at my own toa payoh 38th floor DBSS, without to seeing u all ! u being my mother also rub salt into the wound.... then use me to connect relationship...

They dont call me last minute to pick your beloved grand daughter from school when u cannot make it...... i am not your standby nanny........ blame me for not working then blame me for not helping u to nurse my niece...

then my sister came home that to realize someone that came home way before she did, wanted to bath when she want to bath... now then u realise how it feel ?

MY family suck big time ! whoever want to get married and have baby, i will just marry the person now..... i dont care about anything......

or maybe when i go argentina, i should just go and dont need to inform them......To my parent, they have only one daughter which is my sister, in their eyes, she is everything, in their eyes, i am nothing....

ah jie is so right, dont need be so nice to them, in the future, she wont even helped me to take care of my children or so......

A depressing date

It was suppose to be a nice casual date with dear dear at Orchard. After the heavy traffic, the searching of a lot for the car, the crazy amount of people in the food republic of ION and the crazy q all over the restaurant, we finally manage to settle down at the food court of Takashimaya, with me eating the Tori-Q.

And what happened after that was a disaster............. went up to Oakley, saw a familiar face, a casual talk that made the whole night damn sour.  Just because I commented  is better to be paramedic, cause after he re-became a paramedic, he is spending his money like nothing....buying things as and when he wants.... so he say was my fault for resigning.....No doubt, i think my life was much more enjoyable and carefree as a paramedic. Now, I wish to go back, but nothing in the direction seems to be progressing... I can't control it, cant control the application or the tender of the private ambulance.

I just don't get it, why when u give face to a so called friend, he simply don't give u face... or just too comfortable to say the truth or the insensitive part ?I didnt even say it was stupid decision to sell ur flat near to mrt for the LOW price, for a common corridor flat which u complain day in and day out is small and no privacy, yet at the same time u r meeting old friends around the East area.  When u decided to quit from CD within 24 hours, and pay the penalty even thought u have the vacation leave.  And wanted to quit again from Lentor, yeah, u called me, and i spend 1 1/2 hours talking to u, leaving my boyfriend one side, just to hear u say, u made up ur mind..... then why even called me...

He say into my face that I nagged with a high pitched, thats why even guys don't wanna to listen also.. I mean that's you, you dont listen to anybody but want people's comment and suggestion.... Even the close friend of u get so sick and tired, just say yes and hanged up.. Why am I so stupid, thinking u will listen to me, which u will only listen to ur own community. Dont beat me so hard, cause it really painful even if I am fatty...

He called me a few days ago, just because u r eating chicken rice after eating nasi lemak.. U don't want to be as fat as me, because u r over eat alone... I mean what the fuck? And why is it that u message at 1am to go for supper, and that you hate me the rest of your life for making u fat again ?

After the coincidental meet up, i became depressed and have no other further mood to shop and it did dampen the spirit of our dating night.

This is what i write on  NOV 2 while "shopping"

Feeling lousy and crappy... Is not as if I want to leave cd, not as if I want to resign as a pm... If not for the selfish bastard, who want a house in toa payoh but never serious to marry me...

Am I the one that is impulsive to leave SCDF or I am too arrogant to think that I will really do better outside which I never did.... And just because is sales I can't even say anything that I am not doing well... I simply can't go Argentina just because I don't have money.... As simple as that... Who bother

Am at orchard mrt, really feel like crying ..... So depress.... People look down on me, and I look down on myself... Whether is love, career, health or fitness.... I feel totally down..... 

I really don't know who can help me up or my wound is just so deep .. I really feel like disappearing from here... From earth or Singapore , I don't know ...

I don't know since when I became very weak and fragile.... My world collapsed for a long time... I tried.,applied for pm, but half a year, now no news at all.... What else to do .. Is something I cannot control... Things which I am good at, I can't go back.. Really at lost ... That back luck ? I just hope is a test from God, fluck terribly yet got to bite my teeth and bleed .... 

Totally lost and don't know what to do.... Such a failure, people can't bother to listen to what I say, cause is too insignificant.... 

Can't even go to Phuket for holiday.... Don't have the guts to go alone.. Suck a failure .....

Yet at another hand, there should be people worse off than me... Why am I so negative..... Mixing with the wrong person.... My life sucks ... Big time.

Murdoch PTCOM2 - Annual Gathering

 28 Oct 2012 - Man Fu Yuan at Inter-continental

After bumping into Jim few months back, and I asked him to be the organiser for the gathering. It finally happened again... Although the number of people getting lesser and lesser....

It was still an enjoyable lunch with the catch-up.

Liu Sha Bao

The attendance for the 2012...... Jim, Kevin, Jody, audrie, Geralding and Jolene.....

Union of Din and Ying part 2

After a  rushing morning, a slight delay after lunch till 1400hrs++, rushed back to pick ZP from Bedok from his tiring post F1 duty......

After removing makeup and tried to rest a while, went back to the hotel in at 1600hrs to go for the dry run. Guess what happen half way, i realize i never bring my contact lenses, out of so many things....Damn ! Bring so many bag but never bring lenses, and got to drive back all the way to take it... haiz....

Even after I went back, they haven start the rehearsal, so din and ying..... So we talked to the banquet manager, and blah bla... In the End, we never rehearsal. 1830hrs, the jie mei start to arrival, and i haven changed or start to dress up for the events.

After rushing up, I need to clean and start my  makeup regime, and i had to run in and out of the toilet and had to fight the toilet with 2 guys ! Argh ! And they take as long as me !

Half way through, I still need to "fight" with  the jie mei about complimentary parking ticket ! So I had to anyhow brush and draw on my face.. Luckily, with my mum's precious pearl, I turn up to be quite gorgeous ! (shameless me!)

The Bride finally finished the make up ! A quick photo of J.E.Y before the dinner start !

Just like any events. bound to be some hiccups ! Eddy was so confident in announcing of the entrance of the Bride and Groom, the mike was not on... He turned to me, I tried mine, and is still off ! So i had to do something, so i shouted without mike to ask the guest to stand up , on my most gorgeous outfit and look....

The Fusion couple and FORCE people ! 

Finally, they have some time for some photo shoot !My Favourite shot of the day ! Natural and nice !

 Malay Wedding on 23/9/2012

I was suppose to reach Ying's place at 1100hrs but due to the biological things, I reach about 1200hrs, and still she is at the hotel doing her make-up... Aiyo.... So I waited at her house with deborah for one hour plus and chat with her family.... Till she arrived and pick the parents !

The Lovely couple arrival...... to the groom's place ....

Our lovely group with the bride and groom......after a long time....

 Love this natural and cheecky shot by me ! 

These are my ex-medic from Paya Lebar that had worked with me before ( cause i always change duty with wee kiat, or kanna called back )

The Ex-pm and pm from Paya Lebar Fire Station

Eddy , Azhar and me ! ( while the bride is changing ) 

 taking photo with latif (daddy) missing him since i resign ! 

Just before i go back and get some rest for the week of wedding and eve of my birthday !

One of my ?BFF, from the same interview batch, when she sat beside me and shaking, to not talking to each other during training,  to getting closer and become her jie mei....