04012016
Bb, I been missing you, I hope you know I am doing ok but I miss u A
lot.. I finished worked at 7pm on MondY even when my manager is not
around .. The new accounts been giving me busy ... I missed my abt class
...so I went to Bc classes at 1950, made myself work really hard ,
making the sweat to drop on the floor ... 9/730 and I still haven heard
from you... U been online late in Tucson time but I have no idea what is
going on ... I hope is because u haven settle down ... Or is a long
time u been planning to never msg once u reach...
I read a book last few days , it seem that me you so called affair is to
test your market value .... Cause things doesn't work out at home ...
Bb,I know I am not suppose to cry ... I tried for one week, absence of
your message making me very hard to go thru it ... I don't even feel ur
love.. So I was one sided .... I tried to numb myself, work , gym and
sleep ... 9 classes but still , I miss u almost ever minute .... I
cried almost like shit again since I came back from gym cause I really
miss u.. Your voice, your shoulder , your message ...
I don't know if you ever will get to see this ... I just wanna tell you
how much I love you despite you not loving me cause I don't wanna have
any regret ... I know you wanted your old life without me , you loved
your kids and most likely with her too... Time and time again, proven no
matter how far you are from me and how long you mia from me , I still
loved you and I miss you right from the bottom from my heart...I don't
what it is that make me love you so much and hard. You are the first
man I ever wanted so badly , but ur kids need you... I have to sacrifice
my love for you, hide and be quiet , to love you silently and from
afar. Your are also the first man who left me , and I have to hold up
strong and have never thought of loving another person again for now ...
My love for u surpasses my air steward ex. I am probably just ur fwb ,
but u know everything time I am with you, my heart is always at peace
even I flutter for you... You make me smile just by thinking of you ..
Our teasing to each other, our laughter and how much u know me ... It
aches so many times that I cannot cry , many times I wish that my body
will ache instead of my heart.. Bb, never happen , my body refused to
ache , my heart is so sour....
060116
Day 12 I think , wanted to go body pump. While preparing , boss came
out. And I left office at 2000hrs. Trying not to miss u ... Pretending
everything is fine. Hate to realise u never loved me at all.
D-day - 27122015
I was so heartbroken when I didn't even hear from you. Finally, after
few droplets of tears, your name appeared on my phone. The normal iPhone
ringing sound so wonderful and magical.
You came , and when you lie down and say you are just here to say
Goodbye. My tears have been flowing non stop. Past 40 hours , I haven
been a gold fish..I tears as I kiss you cause I gonna miss you so much
..
Did I see that teary eyes of yours ? Bb , did u ever love me before ?
Have you really want me by your side ? Will you always loved me ?
When all my friends left and I am Alone, I just can't controlled my
tears...I knew I can't go to airport, it make things difficult for u
.... And maybe seeing me tears so badly for u ; u will feel bad ?
I am trying to be strong, but I need your love to be strong ..For the
last 2 months was hell , I know we didn't know each other that long, but
it peace love comfort when I am with u. It will take a very long long
time for me . But I don't wanna forget and I can't
08/01/16
Went to zumba , then hatha yoga then breathing and medication... Was in
gym from 1820 to 2200hrs. Brought back work so that I don't need to OT
and can go gym, and don't need to go back during weekend ...
Practicing.. Thinking if I should go army , study insurance related
course or take some sports instructor course like yoga or body combat
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