CCF AFR 2012 KL

30th April 2012

This is a special day, a first time for me, first time being a medical volunteer to Children Cancer Foundation, and to their Annual Family Retreat to Kuala Lumpur. It has been such a long time since I am doing community service or volunteer. ( tried to volunteer back in the ambulance but was rejected )

In the beginning, I had my doubt whether I had the ability in my patience and my skills to handle in the situation. ZP was afraid that my short temper will blow up during the trip. Fortunately, I was able to go to the briefing prior to the trip, seeing the people there being so genuine ( no make up and no fancy clothing), down to earth and conversation was short and right to the point.

It was a tigh schedule as I was stuck in clinic the whole day out of the whole week just prior to the trip with little time to prepare for the trip. I was glad I was able to pull off with some little help from Christopher and ZP.

I reached quite on time at 0730hrs, and then meet the beneficiary and their family and then it just everything started so fast from there. Boarding the bus and proceed to KL via Melecca Via Tuas.
Seriously, you wont even know who is the beneficiary, most of them are bubbly and happy children.

Even before reaching the SIN custom, I already had a request to check on one of the beneficiary. Her temperature was 37.4. Argh, very close, only advised the parent to let her take paracetamol first then will check her again. Halfway thru, manage to grab hold of clara and inform her and the doctor.

We reached Melecca, King hotel for lunch, then a 2nd request to check on the vomiting child, and temp was 38.7, and thank God, there was doctor onboard the trip with us. I have to say the lunch sucks. really sucks.

With us falling behind the actual schedule for like an hour or two, we manged to move off again at 1430. The traffic jam and the heavy rain didnt help, the journey was more rough, and i was getting more restless just like the others, and KL just seem like Thailand, so near  yet so far.

finally, manged to reach the hotel at 1730hrs, and a short window period to settle down before the dinner at 1800hrs. I had to say, the expectation of such a hotel/resort was way below. People are always Q-ing, and the tray was always empty, and the quality of food was ok. Anyway, is paid for, so no complain. Thank God, the debrief was short and sweet and i finally manage to bath and rest.

Day 2 started with some simple morning execise at 0730hrs, hmm... Ya, I manage to wake up.... And then was the ever crowded breakfast crowd with th always no food in the restaurant. As always, i settle for the not so many people crowd.

We then proceed to play some station games with the family, some games are so interesting, and i never played it before and it has been a long long time since i play games. It was an very interesting learning experience.

Then it was lunch, and then to RnR for the family, for the medical team is such a non-stop thing, standby at Sunway lagoon, by the grace of the Doctor, i was able to express shop for 40 min. And I could get this before i head off the hotel for another session of duty and i couldn't even sleep. Lucky was manage to sleep after 5pm for a quick nap.

Then it was dinner with a debrief and a few cases during the debrief. Hmmm... I think is Dr Peh.

After the shower, I bathed and lie on the bed, with limited TV programme, I doze off with the boring show, and roomates came back and off for me. and i continue sleeping as it is gonna be a long day 3.

To be continued.....

7 years of Similar shit, different Person...

22nd December

I should just stop thinking that maybe one we really would be together, I dont think is gonna happen. As the time goes by, I observe more similarity between you and him. Of course, who will admit they flirt with other woman. My heart is going colder, and everything the thoughts of you messaging other woman . Every time when there is so much time, yet u cannot spare some little time to do something more important.

I mean seriously, spending 20min of time to ask people to reserve a place for you, when you dont have 2 min to navigate to 1 MRT stop away. Chosing a way that you think is fast but dont know they way, and didn't put the cepass properly to go thru ERP, and go round and round the bugis area. I did is my fault that i have been trying to guide you, even helping u to install the navigation is useless. Some thing just dont change.

My mood for christmas just totally disappear, cause is the 3rd time in the same month that i dont wanna celebrate christmas, and maybe it should stay away, just go for service but not celebrating as if exchanging gift or what. It seem that is a bit pointless and xmas seem to be like the official reason that people buy more things.

So what if you go around looking for the perfect gift to give to that someone, doing your research what is good and whats suit him more ? doesnt really matter now... and the thing he say, xmas is from the heart, whatever people give u, just take and he will like. so i can maybe give chocolate...

Personal opinion, if you die die wanna buy something for the sake for buying or giving. yet u know the person wont really like it, it totally meaningless. I mean is good to receive, but is better to get something that you life. Value of the item and what is really suitable for the person something just doesnt come together.

For me, i dont mind receiving the gift early so that i have a xmas mood, but he say want to wait till christmas and all. Into your face, DON'T NEED TO !  If you want to wait until xmas, why want me to wait also, aren't you giving your church people present now, stop giving me those craps, and now i dont wanna spend my xmas with u .

I have also been waiting one day that u can be a bit more intiative to do something, I am not a very impromtu person when certain things need to be plan unless is a place i am very familiar with.

Oh well, since the gift is useless, I have posted to instagram and facebook. Yup, i want you to see yet cannot get it and regret. I had that sucky feeling for the longest time, i been hinting you about us yet is a open ended answer, I am quite sick of it. I am not the 17 or 18 y/o gal that have time to wait. And you never know me before, once i walk away, is with no feeling... and is gettng very near there.





15th December

maybe is the period, blame in on the period, but there is something i cant stop thinking, cause it happen before and before.

In the previous relationship, since I was not not married, I didnt bother. Yup, so what, u gave the freedom they needed, so it end result was a shotgun with someone... Thats the result ! I haven recover  from the hurt... the fact that i wasted my 5 1/2 years especially in my mid 20s to spend with a guy that i knew was not serious with me. I still chose to believe that I would be the one.  Reality got to slap my face.

This time, not much far away, a not so committed person claimed he love me, but still messaging, flirting or whatever with other woman. Sick of it ! Dare to do but scare to admit ! I just feel like i am just like any other woman, just that maybe mine frequency was much more. So what does it meant ? Something ?

Everytime, I hold your phone, that panick reaction of yours tell me there is something you dont want me to know. As a woman, I even want to know more, and of course, things are the way that I could imagine. So flirting and all, doesnt seem to be bothering u, of course, u r the one having fun. All i feel was someone who doesnt care about what i feel.

My heart feel so cold, that i dont know how to love someone. I dont know how to plan my future, no matter in which stage....... Everything seem temporary and fake.

So what if I wanna to surprise with a great Christmas present, I dont even wanna spend with him at all, got the feeling for the second time this year, ... Maybe deep inside my heart, I already Knew i was not the one for you, but again I was  hoping that I would be the one.

Old yet New Journey

The last 1-2 weeks, i had already started to work in an industrial setting, not as a construction worker, but as a industrial paramedic in  kallanf while waiting to go back to emergency ambulance, after all, healthcare industry suit me a bit more.

But in this settings, I not only need to refresh my paramedic skills and knowledge, I also need to know the nursing skills such as dressing and dispensary of medications, and I also need to do admin work. In short, OIC of the industrial clinic.

Things was really messy and chaos the first day, when i am suppose just to start up the clinic but the cases kept on coming in. After the chaos here and there by everybody, things are more or less in place with a few more things to settle. More importantly, My pay are not settle yet !

Day in Day out, people here are testing my skills, medical skills, my patience with them and my ability to communicate with Thai, bangladeshi, and indian.... sometimes is just like ARGH ! Fortunately over here, i do have the freedom to control the timing and treatment.

Really thank God that BFF A is able to help me temporary this month, at least i got some time to source for some manpower and get things in place. Based on what i know about him, he is sure to help to settle some admin stuffs, especially when i am not around, and pretty quite sure paramedic trained people are able to endure the long shift like 0700-2300 HRS, yup, no joking. I am busy with consultation, treatment, paperwork since 0700-2030hrs.... It has been quite ok, minus the headache now.


I am almost like a superwoman with non-stop of work since i first step into the offfice until I leave. Well, i suppose is better for me, i dont have so much free time to bored myself and to just nua and eat n eat, i am just concentrating at work to try to focus and not think about unwanted stuffs.

I pray that everyday is a good day, that God always want me to learn something new.