Compeition and money drown me !

I remember as a sport person back in school days, I love to attend sports meet, swimming meets etc.. i do have many awards like 4x100, 100, 200, or others...But i don't win all the time, at the same time losing doesn't mean I am not good, just not as good as others...After all who don't like the feeling of winning..

But when if the winning of others affect u ? not because u lose....? For example, the competition of sales managers of wanting their team to win, adding tremendous stress on u, which doesn't fit into ur personalitly.... I love motivation but moderate.. not extensive motivation of everyday, U CAN DO IT, U CAN DO IT...

Facing the same people and the same thing frustrate me, motivating me in a wrong way  dis-motivate me..... i get negative and emo and run away from people. I dont knoe why, am i such a person....i dont like to be fake.....

What when u set the goal to what ur mangagers wants u and not what u want ? when u fail to achieve, they say the goal is set by u, but when u set ur own goal, they say is too low.. how much is enough.... During the downfall of my life, when my expenses is more than my pay... I learn to live life in a humble and practical way.. I stop eating restaurant, and when it get worse, i dont even step into fast food... bedok or marina parade food center has cheap and maybe nice food.. is might not be as comfortable as restaurant and need to bear with humid temperature with fired food smell on ur clothes. but is a good way of saving money.....

It still stay the same, Money is not a motivation for me, but u still need certain amount of money to survive... Just like others, i enjoy better food when i have more money, enjoying life... hehehe... especially Thailand, Cheap and good....roadside stall... but the price also increase..

I guess not everybody is suitable for a competitive environment..if not everybody is a salesman.... depends on your morale and values.... No right or wrong, subjective to teachings and learning...


i thought i was the only one that feel that way, apparently i am not alone..... To some it work, to some it doesnt't ? thats why i am sad about what i should do in life?