Compeition and money drown me !

I remember as a sport person back in school days, I love to attend sports meet, swimming meets etc.. i do have many awards like 4x100, 100, 200, or others...But i don't win all the time, at the same time losing doesn't mean I am not good, just not as good as others...After all who don't like the feeling of winning..

But when if the winning of others affect u ? not because u lose....? For example, the competition of sales managers of wanting their team to win, adding tremendous stress on u, which doesn't fit into ur personalitly.... I love motivation but moderate.. not extensive motivation of everyday, U CAN DO IT, U CAN DO IT...

Facing the same people and the same thing frustrate me, motivating me in a wrong way  dis-motivate me..... i get negative and emo and run away from people. I dont knoe why, am i such a person....i dont like to be fake.....

What when u set the goal to what ur mangagers wants u and not what u want ? when u fail to achieve, they say the goal is set by u, but when u set ur own goal, they say is too low.. how much is enough.... During the downfall of my life, when my expenses is more than my pay... I learn to live life in a humble and practical way.. I stop eating restaurant, and when it get worse, i dont even step into fast food... bedok or marina parade food center has cheap and maybe nice food.. is might not be as comfortable as restaurant and need to bear with humid temperature with fired food smell on ur clothes. but is a good way of saving money.....

It still stay the same, Money is not a motivation for me, but u still need certain amount of money to survive... Just like others, i enjoy better food when i have more money, enjoying life... hehehe... especially Thailand, Cheap and good....roadside stall... but the price also increase..

I guess not everybody is suitable for a competitive environment..if not everybody is a salesman.... depends on your morale and values.... No right or wrong, subjective to teachings and learning...


i thought i was the only one that feel that way, apparently i am not alone..... To some it work, to some it doesnt't ? thats why i am sad about what i should do in life?

BKK Day 3/4

 Shopping for Day3

 Shark fin in Hot pot $300 baht ($12 SGD)

Bird Nest 300 baht ( $12 SGD )

 On the cab to the Club, RCA - Route 66....

 9 of us ( Algernon not in picture , taking on the phone )

The night life in BKK started with a free drink...

My roommate - Mollie

After a couple of drink, this usually happen......

And they were thirsty...so----

Day 4 - Massage at 1000hrs at Health Spa.... Then rush back to hotel for check out.... But taxi driver bought us to the wrong place, and got to walk back from hotel..... Rush to pack and check out before had last minute of shopping... 

While rushing to meeting Serene for shopping, she recommend us crepe, Hseuh fen , Molly and me share 2 banana Chocolate crepe ( 30baht each) about 1.5dollars in SGD when Sin sell about 4-6 dollars....

Last minute lunch at 1515hrs, my fav noodle soup that cost 40 baht ( first day cost 50 baht just the noodle ) with chilli, super nice..... How can i Miss it ? and accompanied with some fried chicken, cheap and delicious ) ...

Home Sweet Home.... so happy to see dear dear......

It has been 3 years...

Yesterday, for once again, I had step into an alpha, going for 995 calls.... The only difference is run by private ambulance. Like i say, i still miss certain part of my alpha life, and leaving the alpha was a must then and to explore stuffs in the outside world was indeed was an eye-opener, certain views do not exists any more.... Just like team work, and many people working together bounce to have politics......And nobody really need somebody..... Some people are just there for part of your life and leave you with scar..... The most important thing is to achieve what u want in life, it might not be totally materialistic.....for me, is just a simple thing like having food to eat and once a while to go for holiday....

 
Anyway it was a new and old experience...Something so familiar to me for 6 years, but in a different setting, in the west side and in a new alpha setting and changes of procedure.... Going for case is almost the same, of coz my skills are rusty, how rusty, i am not sure yet.. It was a n great opportunity to learn from Omar and Faili...

Faili, a person who i want to learn so much from since i was a trainee.. He had taught me for few weeks in level 2 and had to leave for certain reasons. But inside my heart, he is a good person to go for guidance....

I feel scare just like i was back as a trainee, i feel shy and lost not knowing what to do.... and i feel reluctantly to step in the station not because of the distance from home but i do not wanna meet my bastard ex where he does his reservist.

Meeting familiar faces at hospital made me feel awarkard and staying in the paramedic office is no longer the same... maybe is just me, i am no longer a bubbly person i used to be......

After 7 1/2 hours, i was time to celebrate Omar's 32 bdae with some food... We went to Al-azhar in Bukit Timah but it wasnt that nice as compare to Tampines one...HAPPY BIRTHDAY OMAR !