I felt super sweet when u pick me up from my building and then held my hands. It was something quite unusual. It was damn nice hugging u and kissing u at the bus stop. Held our arms and lean on u on the bus. Unfortunately , bibigo at suntec closed down. So back to Seoul garden. Even thou SP was very tempting. Siting down and having nice lunch while talking is also very important. Holding hands at marina square was also very special, like I say if I can I can't wait to show the world I love u and I am happy with u around.
Random things that I suggest Ike dressing u up was fun and interesting. From choosing the size of ur pants and decide what to get for u. U Really look like Italian boy. Totally so my type Bb. Really really love u so much . So crazy for u... Being around u was so emotional and fun. I know u r never a sporty person but yet u need to entertain me to clock all the activities that I wanna try.
Bb, just wanna be around you to love you, to protect you, to care for you. Feel sour that she is around you yet she does not care for u, breaks my heart totally. When will u ever let me to be beside u and to love and care about u 24/7. I would rather wait 2 years for you then to waste my whole life not being with u.
5 Nov 2015
Was it a good thing that I don't cry ever since maybe Monday.... Are you really not that worth it ?
Maybe things starting to be clearly when u ignore the feeling from the heart... Never trust a guy....like seriously but why am i always making the same mistake
I am nearing to giving up... I don't think you will leave not because of the kids.... Very sure we can get the kids , I think they are something still going on that I won't question and don't want to know .... I want to protect the people I love , I want them to be happy , I want things around them to be solve , I guess u prefer her around not solving. So I don't wanna get must dangle ... I don't know if u will love me during the upcoming 2 years or I will still love u after 2 years .... Things does seem too good , coz I don't think u will contact me that frequently which of bother me with your thousands of reason or excuses, so probably it will Let me be cold hearted and die off..
If you don't want me to fight for u ever , should we even let me go like almost now ....
Will U miss me if u see the stars , blue skies ? the sunset or the beach . Take a Picture sent to me when u miss me ...
07 Nov 2015
Upsetting day not be to seeing you,
especially with the limited text after our ice skating date night. It
was upsetting to see my phone without ur msg. Even if is just ur Bb...
Since
that night, I wanted to tell you something, considered as my very
personal things and dark secret. Not sure when you know it, you will
mind or you will understand why certain things are like that.how bad i
want aiden quek and all etc...
Perhaps, you are just like any
other normal guy who like to keep things to yourself, without
explanation and talking. Bestie talk about everything, happy, unhappy,
sad, nonsense and shit.. Just like the way we are, from listening to
your heart beat using stethoscope, and ur stomach singing symphony. Is
kind of special when you called me during the bad day, to tell me your
bad day. I know is a bad day for you, but i feel happy listening to it,
cause u r talking to me like complaining to a friend. Most importantly, i
get to hear your voice.
To always suan you, ask you to stop eating sinful food in aussie. ask you to run and take the stairs up home.
Sometime i think you really think you love me, sometime i think you can do much more better.
08 Nov
A
night of waiting, just to see that, " Hp no batt.. very late le. call u
tmr " I dont know how to define our status ? Bf ? hmm? in a
relationship ? pretty much look like it ? but is definitely been 3
months since u first held my hand,kiss me and hug me. The warmth of you
hand, making me feeling so secure, the passion of the kiss making me
feel love, the hug that u give giving me the wonderful feeling ever.
Yeah, I woke up feeling lousy and threw up the breakfast i ate, probably
from the not eating the previous day. i miss taking out the watermelon
seeds for you, although u always say dont need but i know you are super
happy cause someone is doing that for u.
BB with the limited time we have, I just wish to spend every precious seconds loving you and be in your arms.
We
really dont know what will happen that 2 years or moving forward. I
just wanna spend these few weeks loving u BB. I dont wanna waste time to
get piss or angry with you. I just wanna tell u how much I love you and
how much I miss you at every opportunities i have.
You
mean the whole world to me, even i have to suffer that heartache to be
still loving you. Your presence especially phyical presence is precious
to me.
Somehow disappointing that I was unable
to talk to u and somehow u won't even acknowledge or what I have say to
u. It was kinda of hurtful. So use gym to numb the pain. I don't know
what to feel... Went for ABT, went for body combat , I swear the image
of apple work very well with steak. The intensity and hatred hmm.... I
could KO of a person..... I knew in order to love u , I must step back
as a lover and just be your friend.
So I run
after 2 intensity class , even densie say I am crazy. I could go on more
but what's the point ? What Ah jie say must be truth .... A victim at
home ...Problem doesn't even lie with me ... So there u go with ur
complain at home...so I kinda of agree you don't know how to love.
Remember
when I told u your heart was empty when I first hug u....I am guessing,
you never experience true love, since u were married since relatively
young. I think a lot of it were based on u need to carry out
responsibilities and not based on love. In general, love doesn't even
existed in the family. Trying to be there doesn't meant love. Not being
with them doesn't mean u don't love. I am guessin when u know me it was
more like curious and lust, but as the dating goes by, u felt love from
me, someone to take watermelon seed, to rub Vicks, to care about u, and u
slowly fall in love with me , and so ur hug change, u even held my hand
outside on broad day light. But still u don't know about true love.
If
one day , something happen to you, who do u wish to be your side ? Her ?
Who will take care of you.Then if someday something really happen ?
Would u even regret what you could have chose? I don't wish anything
happen to you but I live love laugh the basis of I might not be around
Tmr.
Bb, be nice to urself, when u need to
stay firm. Have some ME time to form your own thoughts and love yourself
so that you can love ppl. You can be considerate to others but not at
the expenses of your own happiness.
From your Silly Gal
08-11 Nov
Bother by you, went for BP/BC on
sunday, then ABT/BC then run on monday, and another BC yesterday. These
few days of BC, is becoming more and more intense of exercise. More
physical pain, Non-stop dripping of sweat, with punching.
I
am utterly disappointed by you actions. understandable that you cant
meet me, no courtesy msg to preempt me also. Say u remember by heart
when u read the msg, yet when i ask you, then which msg was there.
Seeing you online, and i am not even worth you 5 seconds of busy, tty.
And now is back to 2712 is coming.. Then let it come... We cant stop it
anyway at least we can treasure the remaining time. Come what may, i am
willing to hold your hands to walk thru it, even if i suffer and you
know it !Oh wait, who am I even to you, ya nobody..... I am
understanding, not an idiot... Even thou, i so wanna talk to you ( since
last thursday ), i know i have to refrain myself from texting you, to
know wheres my actual position to you.. So you gonna wait till going
home time and text than 10 min.. Oh well, go back and have heart to
heart talk with your apple then... You are really specially to me last 3
months, but i am not sure on what should i do, for now, i am hiding me
feelings for you.
11 Nov 2015
During the past one week especially the past few days, I realise how much i really love you. I cant bear myself to get angry for you, I only wish to know you are safe and sound. I could only remember, how nice it was for me to lie on your arms, how nice is to hug you, hold you and kiss you. That i never waste any chance of telling you I love you and how much i miss you.
I just didn't want to waste or lose any more precious time with you. I only want those precious happy memories with you. I am sad that you dint wanna treasure the current time instead u tried to ignore me. And now, i don't even know what is going on.
I have to keep my cool, and seeing the past msg, to remind myself that you really love me too. I wish you could have told me everything that you wish too.
Despite my patience and constant effort to maintain.
I
really don't know what to do, you not ever seem to even treasure it
despite trying to talk to you. If feel as if u went to rockhampton, i don't get to see you at all despite you physically in SIN, worse of all, i
get zero msg, to 5 msg top.
I cant tell you
how much i miss you, how much i wanna be in your arms. Best of all, i
dont knoe what you are even thinking. I am lost, hurt by your action.
You are leaving but you chose to hurt me this way.
I
have never expected you to treat me like this, just like any of my ex..
I really thought we were great, but yet u chose this again..How am i
suppose to feel, You just want to mind-f me and throw me around ?
18 Nov 2015
My heart sunk when i saw your msg. I feel relieved. Yet i feel like shit, whatever was told me was like your usual bullshit
Yet,
i can the the change from you not loving me to you loving me. It was
all fake, for you to rush down to see me and to the doctors? You promise
you will always love me and you know it. What cause the changes ? just
because she found ? she threaten ?
No matter
what is it, i have cherished and spend every possible seconds with you. I
have love and make sure you know it. I wish to know what happen.So our
met up of 25th times and all, doesnt matter to you ?
I
really love you, yet i am very speechless. Is painful coz like i say
you chose not to love and see me ever. and you not even going to let me
be your friend.
21 Nov 2015
After this almost 3 weeks , I realise how much I really love you and miss you. Whatever you go and see the stars, every star represent how much I miss you and how much I love you and want to be with u ....
You r the first guy then I hardly throw my tantrum around ... And j cherish and every seconds with u ..I can't seem to get angry with u... I can only remember how much I miss u , want to kiss u, and how it felt to be in ur arms ....
Of course I am disappointed, after a very bad n hard day at work, i just need some comfort from you. I am ok with u not having physical time with me. Just let u love love within me , and bring me some comfort among the way... Is that difficult to ask "BB how's ur day ? "
21 Nov 2015
After this almost 3 weeks , I realise how much I really love you and miss you. Whatever you go and see the stars, every star represent how much I miss you and how much I love you and want to be with u ....
You r the first guy then I hardly throw my tantrum around ... And j cherish and every seconds with u ..I can't seem to get angry with u... I can only remember how much I miss u , want to kiss u, and how it felt to be in ur arms ....
Of course I am disappointed, after a very bad n hard day at work, i just need some comfort from you. I am ok with u not having physical time with me. Just let u love love within me , and bring me some comfort among the way... Is that difficult to ask "BB how's ur day ? "
